« BERRYSTAR »

Alder Bark - scaly bark found on alder trees, often in boggy areas; large oval leaves with jagged edges and small pinecone-like growths. bark is chewed or gnawed to help with toothaches, gum pain, and pain from teething. Can be used for indigestion, sore throat, infections, and improving oral health

Bindweed - Common, fast-growing, vine-like weed with white or pale purple flowers; combined with sticks, it can help mend a broken leg and keep it in-place

Blackberry Leaves - thorned bush with black berries of many balls (which taste good but stain the fur and provide no benefit); spiky leaves can be chewed and applied to bee stings once the stinger is pulled. Honey and lavender do the same.

Blazing Star - a small yellow flower with five petals that spread out (resembling a star) and spiky leaves. WIP

Blessed Thistle - large, round, spiky flowers with fuzzy leaves like a dandelion; eat the leaves to increase blood circulation (useful for kittings!)

Borage - Purple flowers with soft, fuzzy dark green leaves. Has a distinct zesty & bitter smell. Best leaves are typically halfway up the stem. Grows basically everywhere in forests along rivers and the leaves are eaten leaves must be chewed and eaten by a cat suffering from internal infection/fever to help heal it & bring down temperature. Helps queens produce more milk; helps soothe bellyaches/stomach issues, coughs, & ease tightness in chests

Bright-eye - light pink petals with darker pink in the middle and smooth green leaves; grows in sunny wooded areas. Only works on coughs with lovage. And its not even eaten? Chewed into a poultice and spread on the chest/throat.

Broom - very tall with thick stems, small rounded leaves, and oddly-shaped yellow flowers; grounded into a poultice and applied to affected area to help broken bones

Burdock - large leaves with thistle-like flowers; roots are used for infections and numbing an area. The best remedy for rat bites

Burnet - most common and effective strengthening/energizing herb, though it won't make a cat hyper; medium-sized, green-colored, low to the ground as a patch of arrow-shaped, jagged, fern-like leaves with scalloped edges, occasionally with spikes of purple flowers. Grows in sunny forest clearings. Leaves are eaten to give strength for long journeys, those recovering from sickness, and expecting queens; "traveling herb"

Catchweed - Common, sticky weed with hooked bristles that catch on fur; burrs stops poultices from being rubbed off without hurting the skin

Catmint - Best treatment for greencough & whitecough; can be a backup for stress/shock (though not the best option)

Cattail - Fluff can be used as an emergency blood-stopper. Roots can be applied (or eaten) to help heal injuries or burns, stopping minor-ish bleeding, preventing infection, or to soothe stomachaches. the leaves' gel can be used to soothe pain in injuries

Celandine - Small, yellow-flowered plant with four petals, hair leavess, and orange sap; crush leaves into a juice & trickled into weak/damaged eyes (only real help for eye damage). Quick treatment for allergies ("aching/weeping eyes" or "hayfever") to soothe/prevent worsening. Grows in forested areas that still get good sun.

Chamomile - daisy-like flowers with single layer of petals and short, stringy, branch-like leaves; smells strongly herbal and earthy. Flowers, when eaten, not only give strength by endurance but for grief as it soothes/strengthens the heart and mind. Good for anxiety and worry.

Chervil - sweet-smelling with white flowers and large, branching, fern-like rounded leaves in three clusters from the main stem; roots (knobby, brown, and bitter-tasting) are more potent and eaten for bellyaches caused by nausea (useful for kittings) but does not release trapped wind. Juice of leaves/roots can be used for infected wounds. Helps relax cats to prevent injury, like in intense kittings.

Cobwebs - Patch up wounds/stop bleeding, hold poultices, and to bind broken bones/other injuries.

Coltsfoot - grows in large clusters; eat the leaves for breathing issues, kittencough, and whitecough (safe for kits); can be chewed into a poultice to help cracked/sore paw pads or minor scratches

Comfrey - bluebell-like flowers, rough leaves that grow upwards; leaves eaten to help with cough attacks and inflammation, while roots can be crushed into a pulp to help heal broken bones, wrenched claws, itching, inflammation, and burns. Paws can be wrapped in the leaves and/or nests can be lined with them to ease muscle stiffness

Coneflower - Rare herb, toxic if eaten in large doses; roots are eaten for healing respiratory illnesses or internal infection, or applied for external infection or for swelling. Leaves and petals are eaten to ward off infection

Daisy - Faintly floral scent. Blooms in sunny areas in newleaf and greenleaf. Yellow center, white petals, hairy stem, bitter taste, and dark oval-shaped leaves. Applied topically when chewed. Helps aching joints and back pain; good traveling herb when going over tough terrain. Eases inflamed flesh and pain.

Dandelion - common, plentiful, yellow-flowered plant with long, hollow stems and ridged leaves; flowers turn to white fluff at the end of their life. Leaves are chewed as a painkillers (best for internal pain); alleviates pain from bee stings when applied as a poultice. Only dulls sickness pains. Can help feverish cats sleep/lower temperature, but make them drowsy for sleep aid. Mild, not harsh on the system.

Deathberries - small, red berries that grow on green bushes; fleshy part is edible, but the seed is poisonous. Considered very hazardous, especially for kits!

Dock - long, oddly-shaped leaves that can be crushed into poultice for anti-inflammatory dressings (scratches and stings), soothing sore pads, or used as a 'bandage' when cobwebs are low; can also be used to carry other herbs

Fennel - grayish-blue with hollow stems and leafy bulbs at bottom, found in dry areas near coasts and rivers; juice inside the stalk is consumed to ease hip pain, stomachaches, hunger pains, and whitecough (useful for kittings!)

Feverfew - named for its purpose; scalloped dark-green leaves with yellow & white flowers. Has a sharp tangy smell and small soft leaves that you eat to help lower fever, cure headaches, and soothe muscle aches/pains. Grows along the water.

Goatweed - white or purple flowers that grow in bunches with jagged, rough leaves and fuzzy stems; leaves are eaten for calming, anti-anxiety, and grief treatment.

Goldenrod - long, thin stems with a cluster of golden-yellow flowers at top; speeds up healing and used to clean wounds (does NOT directly prevent infections like marigold)

Goldenthread - small woodland herb: round, clover-like leaves with scalloped edges, delicate white flowers, and distinctive bright yellow, thread-like roots. WIP

Hawksweed - used to help cure kittencough.

Honey(comb) - eaten or given with moss; soothes infections and helps with smoke-damaged or sore throats, coughing (not lung issues but soothing), helping cats swallow other concoctions, and gives energy. Can be used to draw poisons from wounds such as bee stings and to bind poultices together (but must be wrapped tightly to prevent spilling)

Horsetail - mini pine sapling that never grows bark; small and frilly with many branching leaves. good for preventing/treating infection and minor bleeding, even with the juice (or chewed into poultice); stings when applied. Sap can reduce eye swelling.

Ivy - Can be used to help bind splints and other things together.

Juniper Berries - purple-blue berries from the dark green, spiky-leaved juniper bush with a pungent smell; they lose potency when they're shriveled, but still have partial effect. Grows in places that are drier, but can be found in leaf-bare. Calming, soothes bellyaches, helps with coughs, gives strength, and helps troubled breathing. Too many berries can cause a bellyache. Side effect of soothing racing minds; hard to panic when your hyperventilating is eased!

Lamb's Ear - gives strength by stamina (while chamomile lets you keep going for longer periods, burnet gives energy, and juniper more push in your body, lamb's ear is best for short pushes and burns off fast). It's a soft plant with fuzzy, silver-green leaves that grows in exposed rocky areas.

Lavender - fragrant flower with purple flowers and linear leaves. Found in Twoleg gardens or sunny spots with sandy or gravelly soil. Calming scent (often used to dress cats for burial); helps ease headaches, fevers, and chills when consumed. Can be used as a mix-in for a bee sting poultices (not entirely effective on its own)

Lovage - Dark green plant that resembles parsley with yellow flowers and heart-shaped leaves speckled with gray. Found in moors and is partially toxic when eaten. Used to treat yellowcough; crushed into a poultice and spread across the chest, especially with bright-eye

Mallow - Not as effective as tansy for coughs, but roots/leaves will still help. Has delicate purple flowers and large fuzzy leaves with a sweet, rose-like scent growing near water. Roots are effective for stomach issues/bellyaches (and the leaves lesser so).

Marigold - stems, petals, and leaves are chewed into a poultice and applied to fresh wounds to prevent infection; helps with swollen joints, minor bleeding, broken bones, and flea bites

Moss - used for bedding, to soak fluids (water, mouse bile, honey, etc.), used to help soak and stop bleeding

Mousebile - Moss is soaked with this and dabbed onto a cat's pelt to lure out ticks; commonly done for elders

Parsley - long-stemmed plant with jagged, branching leaves, three clusters from the main stem. Has a sharp scent and tastes cold/fresh. Found in forests. Stem is eaten to help ease pain with stomachaches; stops a queen from producing milk if their litter dies; looks similar to chervil, but must NOT be mixed up

Plantain Leaves - leaves can be crushed and applied to wound to help wounds heal faster and reduce swelling

Poppy seeds - Helps induce sleep, soothe shock or distress, & easing pain; not to be used for nursing queens, kits, or in large, prolonged doses. Can be used to ease pain for dying cats, letting them "sleep" peacefully into it. Harsh on the system but most effective.

Ragweed - flowers are like burnet in that they give a boost in physical strength/energy, but can make a cat "peppy"; prolonged overuse, while not damaging, can make a cat "odd" and get them hooked. Not harmful and fine in moderation. Has rough hairy stems and mostly lobed/divided green leaves with tall, pungent, yellow flowers. Grows in forests near water.

Ragwort - tall shrub with yellow flowers and a foul taste, but the leaves strengthen the body and provides endurance. Good for sick cats.

Raspberry Leaves - To ease pain/stop bleeding, especially during kitting; safe for queens and kits

Rhubarb - a large, fleshy-stalked leaf with reddish stems and green leaves. WIP

Rosemary - tall, pungent plants with needlelike stems; hides the smell of death

Sheep's Sorrel - small plant with arrow-shaped green leaves, red or yellow flowers, & slender stalks. Grows on the moor or like areas. Helps to bring down fever.

Sorrel - Quenches thirst and builds appetite simultaneously; good recovery for cats who've suffered vomiting. Grows near Twolegplace in well-watered, soft soil and shade. Low-growing with smooth, arrow-shaped green leaves that have a sharp, lemony scent and a pleasantly tart, citrus-like taste

Sticks - strengthen broken limbs to heal properly, provided to queens to chew on for pain during kitting, used to carry soaked moss or cobwebs

Stinging Nettle - used to make a cat vomit

Sunset Roses - small, delicate pink-and-red flowers that help cure 'snow fever' - not sure what that is yet, or how to use them

Sweetfern - a thick, low, aromatic shrub with fern-like green leaves. WIP

Tansy - round yellow flowers with dark green leaves that are curled, feathery, and pointed; distinctly strong, sweet scent (can mask scents). Found in sunny areas with sandy or gravelly soil, like mountains. The stem helps to cure whitecough, aids in greencough recovery, and soothes sore throats when eaten (ONLY small doses; may be dangerous). Cures wounds and extracts poisons by squeezing juice until bleeding stops. Leaves crushed into poultice can help wrenched legs. Dangerous for pregnant cats!

Thyme - grows in small bush with purple flowers and many small, thick leaves; leaves are eaten to help with anxiety or calming cats with its scent

Tree Sap - sticky substance gathered from various trees like pine or birch. Can seal wounds very well and lasts a long time; works as a replacement for cobwebs.

Valerian - roots are eaten for sleeping, anxiety, chronic/minor pain

Watermint - fuzzy, oval-shaped leaves with purple flowers on the end of spiky stems found in damp soil; chewed into a pulp, eaten to help with bellyaches (trapped wind, not nausea); can be rubbed on a body to hide the scent of death due to its sharp scent.

Wild Garlic - long, smooth leaves grow low to the ground and on a single stem with white flowers (5-6 petals); wards off infection, but not sure how to use yet. Can mask scent, but is rather odorous

Willow Bark - bark of a willow tree that grows along water, especially fresh bark peeled off of new branches. Chew the juices out, but do not swallow the bark. Eases pain, especially of wounds.

Willow Herb - a tall shrub plant with thin leaves clinging close to a long stalk; grows nearer the Twolegplace. WIP

Wintergreen - dark green, elliptical, smooth leaves with an aromatic scent. Pink and white flowers form red berries, which should be present if withered like juniper berries even in leaf-bare. WIP

Yarrow - reddish stem with green leaves, many pointed edges; white flowers with a cluster within. crush leaves and apply to wound to extract poisons; leaves make cats vomit up toxins, but a little bit cures stomachaches and mild coughs. poultice helps heal cracked & sore paw pads.

How to identify pregnancy and help a cat give birth; how to clear obstructions for a kit's breathing

How to spot/treat infected wounds and their basic symptoms

How to identify/treat allergies ("aching/weeping eyes", "hayfever", etc.)

How to treat fevers/internal infections

Fixing broken limbs/making splints

How to identify blindness and deafness; can try to help set up communication

Amputation (has done legs, ears, and eyes)

How to boost strength, endurance, etc. while one is sick, recovering from injuries, before a battle or trip that will test their limits, etc.; Can change their survival chances for the better.

How to administer "CPR" (cat version!) and resuscitate, especially for drownings

Talk Therapy; helping guide cats through thought processes and providing advice, comfort, behavioral changes, etc.

Desensitization therapy (for fears/aversions)* (*this is experimental! VM for more info!)

C-Section Birth (experimental); note that Berry will NOT perform this unless absolutely necessary/consensual, as the queen is guaranteed to die

Understands "internal scars" (lifelong ailments due to a disease treated improperly, especially when young) or born with an incurable condition

Headaches: generally can be fixed by drinking more water/eating, cooling down, staying in the dark. If that fails, eat something sweet (honey, blackberries, etc.). If more severe, use herbs like feverfew

Fevers: occur when the body is fighting sickness/anything the body is trying to recover from; cats can "heat" themselves to death. General cure: make sure a cat can rest/recover with ample food and drink.

Chest Issues/Coughs: usually caused by illnesses like fever, but also can be caused by smoke/dust inhalation, pollen, or damage done to the lungs which causes longterm issues with breathing and raspy coughs.

Bellyaches & Stomach Issues: variety of causes, from illness to something poor. If you catch it early and it's the latter, feed them a poison cure to get them to vomit and leech out the issue. If it's been awhile, soothing herbs are your only recourse.

Drowning/Resuscitation - first, get out of the water and to a safe spot. do not force it out; can damage further (+usually, more water is swallowed than inhaled). Line their body straight on their side so their spine is stretched. Elevate the chest so that what's inside will naturally drain; they will cough out the rest if they wake. In some cases, that is all it takes and with the help draining the water (which you can assist with with lightly pressing down on their lower ribs). In more severe cases, pin a jaw shut and seal your mouth over the nose, exhaling gently; do NOT force it lest you pop something. If their chest rises, you're good. Then place both paws on ribs/chest, compressing to mimic breathing; can "shock" the heart into remembering and restarting. Can break a rib, but worth the cost. Swap between compressions and breathing until they jolt awake or you're too tired to continue (very taxing process). Afterwards, encourage sleeping for recovery with their heads low and their chests high.

Choking (food or other obstructions): Similar process as above; Lower the head, elevate the chest, and if the blockage is too far down for someone with slender paws to reach down their throat and grab, then do compressions on the lower chest while someone else slams a paws down on their back in a patting motion to dislodge it.

Morning Sickness: mild chills, fatigue, nausea/vomiting; not a true illness, only for expecting queens. Let them rest. Give them water. Use burnet to support their strength and juniper berries to soothe the stomach, honey if youre worried how little theyre eating.

Simple Chills: cold winds, falling into water, etc. Begins with shivering, mild fever, sneezing, & aches; not dangerous unless ignored, then becomes "freezing waste". Honey for the throat, poppy seeds for rest, & feverfew/lavender. Keep them warm and let them recover.

Freezing Waste: body failing to hold and create its own warmth; most common in leaf-bare, especially falling through ice. Stages: sluggishness, confusion, stumbling, forgetfulness, even hallucinations. Body slows, heart, breath, thought. Exposed areas like ears, paws, & skin may turn white/blue. In the worst cases, the shivering stops/muscles stiffen/pulse weakens; death is close. Must warm them, but slowly. Too fast, and you may do more harm than good (seizing). Shelter them from wind. Place them in a warmed nest, and have other cats press close to share their heat. Stay with them, watch their breathing, do not leave them alone in this state

Carrionplace Disease: caused by tainted prey (i.e. rats); begins like greencough with vomiting, but turns into more with a bad fever, no sleep, & peculiar stench. Must act quickly; use a variation of borage and juniper berries with coltsfoot, watermint, and feverfew to cure; if caught early, can make cat vomit with stinging nettle/yarrow.

Kittencough: Illness spreads through poorly kept nurseries, stale air, damp bedding, neglect, apprentices skipping duties; passes by coughing/air. Separate sick kit immediately & air out the nursery of all its bedding/let it breathe. The symptoms mirror whitecough, but the patients are smaller, weaker. And if allowed to go untreated the sickness could kill, and even if the kit is recovering it will hit their systems hard making it all too easy for them to develop whitecough or worse. treated primarily with coltsfoot, though hawksweed and tansy (if worried about greencough) can be useful. Prevention is most important.

Yellowcough: Very rare; not sure how it's caught. Loss of appetite, delirium, fever, difficulty breathing & sore throats. As with whitecough coughing up white phlegm, and greencough green, a cat in this case will produce yellow. This disease is notably resistant to catmint unlike others and deadly unless treated with lovage.

Whitecough: Very common illness; begins simply, sneezing, coughing, runny nose, & a slight fever. Patient will seem tired, but not gravely so. Left alone, it becomes greencough (or worse). Treat it early. Catnip is best, but if not then chickweed, coltsfoot, & hawkweed are useful, in order of effectiveness. Tansy can prevent it from becoming greencough but not cure it. Above all: water, food, & proper rest. Should be quarantined, but not fully necessary.

Greencough: Leaf-bare killer; far more virulent than whitecough — NEED to quarantine greencough, will spread like nothing else to anyone in the area. Even the bedding of sick cats needs to be carefully disposed of. Cat will grow sluggish, feverish, wheezing with every breath. Phlegm will stream from nose and mouth. Treat with catmint; can be the only thing that works. Still needs ~4 doses spread out every couple of days. Due to its rarity, chickweed and hawksweed are less effective backups to catmint.

Blackcough: Sometimes called Redcough; final stage, no going back from. Cats may make it out of this stage when taken to the Twoleg healers, but not confirmed. Relentless coughing, breathing ragged, blood or pus may leave the body. Fever rages, strength fades, cat becomes little more than a shadow of themselves. Snakeheart suggested a mercy kill for this agonizing illness (ease suffering; poison or poppy overdose).

DOGPELT - "Ever since that fox attack, I knew... I-I knew he was the one. He is my rock, m-my confidante, and the one I hope to spend the rest of my lives with. I c-can't wait to grow a family together." Song: On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz / Venus - Sleeping at Last

FUTURE KITS...? "I h-haven't met you yet, but... you are loved more than you know." | Song: I'll Keep You Safe - Sleeping at Last

STAGHEART - "He m-may not be my father by blood, but he is in every way that counts. I thank StarClan often that he was the one that found me." | Song: A Little's Enough - Angels & Airwaves

WHISPERINGROSE - "I a-am so proud of the medicine cat she's become. I trust no one more than her t-to fill my place after Starclan's new calling for me. I know that she will surpass me a-as a healer, if not already; a friend, a sister... thank StarClan for her!" | Song: Constellations - The Oh Hellos

PEACHNUT - "Such a b-bright, lovely young tom who I know is meant to be in the medicine den. H-His bleeding heart reminds me of my own, but fearless in comparison. I pray that he c-can withstand the troubles of this role and grow into the healer I know he will be." | Song: Hate to See Your Heart break - Paramore

GHOSTSTALKER - "Owlstar trusted him deeply, a-and so do I. I truly believe he will serve as a faithful deputy, and I pray StarClan guides us in th-the days to come; he shares my heart for the Clan and leading RiverClan in an era o-of both kindness and protection."

COBWEBSTORM - "She's home. She's f-finally home. There is a lot of pain, history, a-and unspoken things between us... but I'm just so grateful that she's alright. The rest can wait." | Song: Oxygen - Switchfoot / Friend, Please - twenty one pilots

SUNHEART - "He... c-came back. I'm still amazed by it. Yet I d-don't see him too much, so it almost feels like a dream... either way, I'm just happy to see him again. H-He was like a brother to me."

WILLOWTAIL - "She's been through a lot, y-yet remains strong. Especially after her m-mate's death a-and raising her single kit. It's... nice, t-to have a sister. Not by blood, but something stronger."

DAISYLIGHT - "My faithful Head Caretaker! Despite her condition, she c-continues to inspire me with her fiery strength and love for family."

EAGLEWING - "I admire her tenacity in the face of what we've endured. Now, I s-see how well she's doing as our Head Lionheart. Her bravery and selflessness shines when we need her most; I'm proud to have her a-as a friend as well as a Clanmate."

ADDERSTRIKE - "Y-You know, it's funny... I used t-to be intimidated by her w-when I was a warrior apprentice, but a-also inspired. S-She was always ready to speak her mind, to stand up for what she thought was right; I w-wished that I could be like that, too. I cherish our bond a-as we've grown closer; her sense of justice and patience is so admirable."

SHADOWEDCALL - "I s-see him like a brother; he's taught me so much and is such a strong, reliable cat... and yet, h-he can disappear before my very eyes. I worry for him, that the ails o-of this life can swallow up what heart he has left. I pray that he can find solace w-with his home Clan." | Song: You're Not Alone - Saosin

SLEEPYSUNRISE - "I d-don't know if I can ever forget what I witnessed in the 3v1. But she's very competent, even if she's... complex in ways I s-still don't understand. But I... I find that I w-wish her well, in the end."

CROWSTAR - "Even though we couldn't save Twilightstar, I a-am hoping that this is mark of peace or even friendship b-between our Clans. I wish him all the best in this new role, a-after such a great loss, and would like to count him as an ally..."

LIGHTNINGSTORM - "I grew to respect her, d-despite our differing outlooks on StarClan; I am grateful that I w-was able to save her from the gorge that fateful night. I hope she c-can open up to restoring the medicine cats' connections...

ROOKFIRE - "I wonder w-what he thinks of me, ever since I accidentally s-stumbled into one of his dreams. Does he hate m-me by RiverClan association? I-I don't know... I'd hope not. But I'm n-not too naive to assume that it'd be far-fetched..."

FLARESTAR - "H-He seems far more friendly and clear than his predecessor, though I am still wary..."

DAWNSTAR - "I d-don't think she despises neither me nor RiverClan a-at the moment, which is good. I hope to keep it that way... I know th-they and ThunderClan have much going on, but I pray RiverClan c-can keep at a peaceful standpoint."

MYSTERY CAT? (LARKFIRE) - "I... s-still don't know who came up to me that day. The day of the raid. I-I just felt this... this darkness s-surrounding me, a-and... part of me wonders if... i-if it was even real... (cough). C-Can we, uh... move on...?"

MYSTERY MED? (TREETIGER) - "I... s-still don't really understand her. O-Or whatever ThunderClan was up to, for that matter, lying a-about her position... I-It's a miracle she even helped us restore th-the connection to StarClan. I could almost sense this... thing around her, l-like a dark presence..."

OWLSTAR † - "I m-miss her everyday; she was like family. I hope that she approves o-of the way I'm trying to lead our Clan after she left..." | Song: Cottonwood - twenty one pilots

MISTYSHARD* - "I w-wish I'd gotten to at least say goodbye to her before s-she left, or knew if she a-and her kits were alright. I wanted to thank her f-for... for being the first to believe in me."

FADINGSTAR* - "H-He... is a sore topic for many; I haven't forgotten, but... I know t-that he had the best intentions for his Clan, a-and was always kind to me, looking out when few others could. It w-was hard to watch him getting chased out. I only hope t-that wherever he is, h-he's peaceful, or... at rest."

STORMSTAR † - "Especially after she became leader, I f-felt like... things were turning around. I still think that sh-she could've led RiverClan far better than me, but... I hope she's proud. I h-haven't heard from her, but I... have a feeling she's watching."

FAWNLIGHT † - "Not only had she g-granted me my medicine cat name, but also Whisperingrose's. And now, one of my leader lives. I aspire to have s-such an encouraging, kind presence as her and guide others to know cats like her are still watching over us in the stars."

WEEPINGPAW † - "He was still... family. I-I know his sickness was far worse than I could treat, but... I still feel like I failed him."

SPIDERSTAR † - "The difference b-between us in life has blurred in death; after Cattail a-and everything in between, having him come to me and Whispy for help i-is still jarring... but I... I find that I'm g-grateful for the change."

LUPINEHEART † - "I wish... w-we could have seen eye to eye, before it was too late. I just wanted him t-to have a home here. May... may he find peace i-in the stars."